bitter muchwho moi? youre welcome girls)

 Cowboys and Crossbones
My iPhone 6 took a literal dump. Complete with a cracked screen (I seriously replaced that motherfucker four times FOUR TIMES and each and every time cracking occurred, it had a protective screen on it) and total black out of the phone BUT if I kept it charged, sometimes Siri would work. Bonus, replica louis vuitton I was gifted an iWatch from Sister CBXB for my birthday and I could use that to talk and text like a fucking secret service agent.
Who doesn scream into their wrist?
Pres is 12 years old but fake designer bags truly acts like a puppy in the fact that she canNOT contain replica louis vuitton bags her excitement over anything. At all. So, in the recent weeks, she been so excited seeing her high quality replica handbags china leash, she aaa replica designer handbags passes out for a few seconds. The first time at the vet, we were supposed to keep an eye on her. Then, she passed out upon my return home from work last week (I mean, I do know how to make an entrance into a room).
Vet visit two resulted in a referral to a pet cardiologist AND an order to keep this chug high quality designer replica handbags wholesale as calm as possible. I sound like a fucking ass clown coming home from work, trying to talk in a monotone voice, when typically my screech could shatter Fake Louis Vuitton Replica Bags windows when talking to my fur kids.
Netflix and chillin not even supposed to take her out to pee (she puppy pad trained) because the sight of her sparkle leash literally makes her pass out. cheap louis vuitton bags from china So what a fabulous fur mom supposed to do for a little stimulation? Put her in a Louis Vuitton and take her on errand runs.
Most annoying duo on the west side of Nashville.
Preshy even joined First Mate and yours truly for an early Friday happy hour.
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While it seemed the month of January lasted 100 days earlier this year, how in the fuck is it now the middle of June? Bananas.
I taken a slide down the regression train the last two months in regard to Rapegate and its aftermath full of PTSD and what not but BUT with the help of my family, friends and fur balls, my wheels are still on the track, although daily WD40 is required at this point. Here what kept me moving and grooving all you need are ladies who help keep your crown held high. And wine. Lots and lots of wine.
A night in with laughs, snacks and shenanigans.
I decided to get CPR certified, so maybe when I having my own panic attacks I can calm myself the fuck down (just kidding chewing on Xanax and getting on all fours does the trick for me). When we were practicing chest compressions on our dummies, the instructor asked who I was mad at much? Yes, I believe I will be taking up kick boxing or kung fu in the near future.
It was the shit watching Nashville NHL hockey team, the Predators make their second appearance in the Stanley Cup playoffs, complete with watch parties.
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1:1 replica handbags There is zero shame in my game.
While holy matrimony has never been high on my list of hopeful accomplishments (although I can train the fuck out of a man. Ex boyfriends that were once couch potatoes, allergic to family encounters, bitched about having to go to out of town weddings, were closeted alcoholics, verbally abusive all matters leading to break ups are now treating ladies right. Now I get to sit back and watch my masterpieces practice my long, hard efforts in their current love lives. Bitter muchwho moi? You're welcome girls).
Whipping male asses into shape for fellow females.
Often classifying myself as trashtacular, it will come as no replica louis vuitton bags from china surprise that when I was driving by one of the many dumpsters near my mini manse, my interest was beyond piqued when I spied a gigantic white box fake designer bags big enough to store body parts beside the filthy green trash receptacle.
I did what any classy person would doI slammed on the brakes, leapt out of my rust bucket, just knowing that the headless corpse I was about to discover would land me on my fave TV show, Forensic Files without having to be deceased.
Instead, as I slowly opened the box, an even bigger surprise awaited my eyeballs.
A fucking wedding gown. Preserved to perfection.
Was this a sign? An omen? Bad juju (I mean Jesus, is there any luck in finding a wedding dress dumpster diving? I mean, aside from it being free and all). I suddenly became a woman more excited about a wedding dress than finding a stray pussy that needs a home (JUST KIDDING. I would first home the cat and then set my sights on my pretend wedding).
This dress had been abandoned once before. Who was I to do it again? The chiffon pouf found a home in the back of my rust bucket, along with a Christmas tree and anything else I don't have room for in the mini manse. It resided there until one evening at a gathering of gals for Supper Club. Among the convo, I mentioned my dumpster diving prowess skills and with zero urging, ran out to my car and got the box.
Upon opening the box, we not only discovered there was the dress but also the veil AND THE SHOES which revealed the previous owner's practicality, as they were ballet flats. Ew.
My new favorite bad hair day I became a flushed bride trying to stuff myself into polyester chiffon (I mean, I didn't go on a wedding dress diet because I didn't know I would be so fortunate to be all dressed upwith no altar to go).
I haven't tried to stuff myself into anything chiffon since, well, cheap louis vuitton bags from china uk ever. I mean, naturally my prom dresses were sequins and any bridesmaid dress that I will "totally wear again" (and never, ever have) were more on the silk/satin side of the material world.
With a touch of fake tulips off my gal pal's mantel, I was a (literally) hot bride one lit cigarette butt from going up in flames.

While half of the group was trying to get me in and out of the dress, the other ladies were playing private detectives. We had a name from the alteration receipt, which was from a dress shop in Hoover, AL. WHAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND THIS DRESS.